Toddlers are Hard Work (15 months)

It’s a cliché but I’m feeling the weight of it. M asked me how come I seem to need my parents help every day and Sofia in nursery two days a week when before she was about 9 months old I managed – albeit with an almighty struggle – to get through the day on my own a lot? And my ME is better than it's been in yonks. I felt guilty. Is it because I’ve got used to having help? Has coming to terms with accepting my parents’ help made me less self-reliant? Am I no longer able, or prepared, to retreat into that “survival” mode of just battling against paralysing exhaustion to keep us fed and watered?

The answer is no. Rather, Sofia has grown and developed and her needs for interaction, stimulation and simply being kept out of peril have multiplied since she’s become an active toddler with boundless energy and curiosity. Take yesterday – a pleasant morning with just me and her in the garden. I was tired and hoping to entertain her from the comfort of my deckchair. But instead she found the only puddle of rainwater big enough to thoroughly soak her trousers with mud. So she had to be manouevred indoors (a finely-balanced combination of persuading her to walk and carrying her) and changed. And we battled with her hat – her taking it off, me running after her to put it back on again, at least 10 times – to protect her little red head from the strong sunshine. Or, indoors, when I’m laid up on the sofa , she’s constantly trying to climb up onto chairs and shrieking in outrage that her legs aren’t quite long enough to pull her up. I have to weigh up whether to bear the shrieks and risk them escalating due to lack of attention, or get off the sofa and give her the upteenth leg-up onto the chair then hover around her in case she falls off. So the day’s energy is more than used up in half an hour.

She no longer sleeps in the morning. That's when I used to have my mid-morning (9.30am!) crash if necessary or do the emails/phonecalls if I had some energy. Now from the minute she’s awake it’s all go. There’s no break. I have to coax her into the bathroom with promises of penguins sliding down bathtubs just to have my shower. Then keep her entertained with silly songs, and away from the lure of the loobrush as I wash myself. Double the energy requirement. Ditto getting dressed, tidying and everything else. Success is when I manage to make making the bed, or emptying the dishwasher into a fun game for her. So at least she’s entertained while I’m getting through the chores. The only way I can take a rest is by mesmerising her with Teletubbies as we cuddle up on the sofa for half an hour. Until after lunch when I put her down for her nap and collapse into blissful catatonia. Thank God for the midday nap.

My friend J, a healthy mum of 3, confirmed that this toddler stage is the hardest. Apparently it gets easier later on when they can talk and entertain themselves better.

22 June 2006