Seeing the scan was amazing. I can’t believe I’ve got such an energetic little jumping bean inside me, wriggling around while I’m flat out on the sofa. And it’s normal. My risk of Down’s Syndrome is very low. I’m imagining all the joy and freedom of it kicking its little limbs around in the waters of my womb.
Over the last two weeks I’ve definitely turned a corner energywise. Most days I’ve managed a 10 min walk during my peak energy time of late morning. I feel great while I’m actually exercising. I still feel dreadful in the evenings after eating and first thing in the morning. For the past 2 months my low blood sugar crashes and low blood pressure have been so bad that I’ve had to have three breakfasts in bed from between 8 and 11 am before I could even attempt to get vertical without keeling over. Now on a good day I can get up on two breakfasts instead of three! Still, when the ME takes a dive the nausea, faintness and tiredness are overwhelming.
But now on a good ME day I’m feeling great – positive and in control for the first time in weeks. It gives me such a boost of confidence to think that my body’s got through these first 3 months. It feels like I’ve done a triathlon – it’s been gruelling but I’ve come through it with a kicking 6cm foetus. I’m starting to feel more confident about the last trimester, the birth and afterwards now that I’ve got through this first hurdle. I’m looking forward to buying maternity clothes and looking pregnant.
It’s so great to have this optimism and this incredible life-changing process to look forward to. It is still scary and I have moments of imagining all the things I won’t be able to do: push a pram down the road to the café, take my child to a mum and toddlers group. But, God willing, I’m going to hold our own tiny baby in my arms and I can’t wait.
All through these 15 years of ME it felt like time stood still within the four walls of my confinement while outside the wheels of life went round as friends graduated, got jobs, got boyfriends. Now there’s this incredible relentless march of time inside me, that’s running like clockwork. And it doesn’t demand anything from me in order to keep going, except endurance. And Lord knows I’ve got plenty of that.
About Me
- Catherine Hale
- I had had severe ME for 16 years before I had my two girls, Sofia and Rosa. During those years ME prevented me from working, socialising, getting out of the house and sometimes sitting up or feeding myself. So having a baby was the biggest gamble I have even taken. My lack of muscle power and stamina meant I could barely lift or carry Sofia from when she was born and needed full time support with parenting. The folly of having a second child came with an unexpected improvement in health. My ME has gone from severe to moderate. I wrote this blog from 2006 – 2007 to record the joys and blessings, as well as the difficulties, of being a sofa-bound mother. And also to pass on tips to others who might travel the same road.
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