Hello Meg and Critch, thank you for getting in touch and sorry I haven't replied earlier. (I think my latest post explains it all).
I really understand your dilemna about whether of not to take the gamble of having a baby. You can never guarantee in advance that you will cope, however much to try. Then again, the amount of childcare/help you can rely on or pay for is a big deciding factor. Having Sofia is the most personally fulfilling thing I've ever done by miles. It has felt impossibly hard at times, yet we've come through the roughest patches intact. It has meant losses too. Of many of the small personal freedoms I had before Sofia. And in some ways of the quality of relationship with my husband. Yet I realise none of the losses are permanent. They are all just things which get sacrificed during the most demanding early years of a baby's life. Then, I'm sure, they return and I think you appreciate them even more when they do.
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Sofamum, thanks so much for responding. I was pleasantly surprised when I checked your blog tonight.
And congrat on number two coming!
I think you are an incredibly brave person. To take on the challenges of raising children with the extra challenges of M.E. on top. I feel like a big chicken next to you.
I imagine it must take a lot of creativity and thinking outside the box, to cope.
The thing that concerns me the most about becoming a parent,is the lack of sleep. I find if I don't sleep tons and tons - I feel absolutely terrible. On top of that - I sleep at very odd times.
Do you have to deal with that? Are you able to catch up on sleep when Sofia is at daycare?
If you don't answer this right away - don't worry. I am in no rush, and realize you have more pressing concerns than my questions.
Take care.
Hi there and thank you. Sleep! Yes, that's the thing that scared me the most too - the thought of being woken up at night, adding to my existing insomnia.
It sometimes is a big problem, especially when my ME is in one of it's insomnia phases (I don't get it all the time) and Sofia is ill and crying out every half hour. Then I'm wrecked the next day and I need all the help I can get. But I'm already set up to have help every day anyway. It just means I feel extra awful!
It wasn't as bad as I anticipated during the first few months though. During the late stage of pregnancy I was sleeping only around 5 hours a night. It's very common and linked to pregnancy hormones. Then after the birth the hormones change and I found my sleep was the best it's ever been! Yes, I was waking up to breastfeed twice a night (husband did one bottle feed) but then I would drop off again instantly and sleep deeply and refreshingly til the next one. I was lucky Sofia was a good sleeper. Some babies won't settle at night after a feed.
My ME is a bit unusual in that I've never slept during the day or at odd times, apart from a 1-2 hour nap after lunch. As long as I get a minimum of seven hours a night I'm OK. Mind you now I'm back on the pregnancy sleep pattern of averaging 6 hours per night. But somehow I don't feel as sleep deprived as I would normally if I weren't pregnant. I get up when Sofia wakes up which is currently between 7 and 8. And I drop straight off to sleep by 10pm. I guess for people who can't get to sleep til late and need to sleep until later in the day a baby or toddler's timetable is a big problem.
All I can say is that my body has adapted to being woken at night, and getting up at 7 which I could never imagine before. So I think you can train it to some extent but you still need to factor in rest or sleep times during the day and that means having some form of help or childcare cos you can't always rely on sleeping when the baby sleeps.
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